Daily Reading

Five of Wands:

Five bridesmaids are fighting to get the bouquet. They are friendly and not killing each other, but are still determined.

---

It feels like I'm going through an intense struggle. I'm going through a competition. This card says that it's friendly and healthy, but I'm in doubt. My emotions are torn, each side struggling for a piece.

Daily Reading: Yesterday

The Star:

This card was telling me I needed to calm down yesterday. Wish I drew it yesterday instead of today. Maybe it would have helped. I was über stressed, and right now I don't feel like adding to that. Don't feel well at the moment.

Daily Reading

The Hermit:

Today I feel like the hermit and it's not a good thing. I want to go out, I long to go out, but I haven't. I see others go out and I want to. But I don't. Today is sunny and not too hot. Just right. I feel supressed and depressed. I want to make myself but it's too hard. Guess I'll just settle for misery.

Daily Reading

Courage:

Nothing can be guaranteed. Everything starts with a seed. The seed is in no danger until it begins its journey of sprouting. Then it faces challenges, not knowing its potential. It doesn't know where it will end up, but it is drawn to the sun. It needs courage.
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I've been planting a seed with my aunt and today I faced a new challenge and danger. I probably said too much and was too open. But we will see what the response is. Maybe it will pay off. Now I need courage not to worry. I never thought we'd get anywhere by talking. Maybe now there was a destination all along. Why else would I be worried if it wasn't worth something?

Daily Reading

Judgment:

Angels are raising the dead, but one stares straight at the reader. She's not looking at what she's doing.
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It's time to take a step forward. It's a time of beginnings and renewal. Now's the time to take that risk or do what I've been putting off. I need to forget any regrets of the past and try again. I know what this card is talking about. I need to go back to studying for something I've been putting off. The decision was always made, it's just my turn to act on the deal. Today I need to find the courage to travel that road once again.

Daily Reading

10 of Chalices:

Two fey sit in a chalice over the vast ocean, one blue, one red. The blue represents serenity and calm, and the red represents passion. They are almost opposites, but they are connected. Not only that, but they also try to catch each other's eye. They adore one another. They are connected by the love they offer each other, and through that they show their hearts of gold.
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Today I need to share my experiences in order to have joy because joy is rarely found in solitary. I need to connect and link with family and/or friends. My dad is coming over later and I have to let go of my bad mood and find relief.

Daily Reading: Yesterday

Hierophant:

The Hierophant is restricted to rules and conforming and the establishment, but he likes these things. He's about traditions and institutions. He's thought of as a 'respect your elders' kind of guy.
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Yesterday I began giving a little respect to the gaming company EA. They've been messing with the Sims 3 for a year (working for at least 4), messing with the fan's heads, losing a few million customers/fans because the company is so greedy that it is put below the shit pile in the barrel, IMO. But that's really just my opinion and, thank God, many others as well. Just when you think the game will be free of all the crap they've tried to do to it (I will not go into all the detail or the recent rumors that have been enraging simmers across the globe), EA does something awful again. Yesterday I was actually giving them a chance and hoping that they wouldn't screw it up again for the sake of more money. But that idea is just laughable. Today I will be going down to EB Games to pre-order a copy of the game. But if EA announces that the new rumors are true, I'm sure I, like so many other simmers, will cancel my pre-order on the spot.

Daily Reading

3 of Swords:

A fey tries to rub off the sword tattooed to his chest, but it has become a part of him now. The wind blows his hair, offering passed time. The horizon shows peeks of the sun. Change will happen sometime in the future.
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Desperation, sadness, suffering. I am in debt and it burdens me. This card shows me that people have known suffering for many years. Seriously, I didn't need this card to tell me that. But I did need it to remind me that the wind still blows, change happens, time passes. Time will make the pain lessen, but only I can fix my problems. I too feel like I am stuck in water of tears, but I need to see that the water how greatness and liberty and purification. It's soothing.

Daily Reading

Princess of Swords:

There's a war going on in this card. The Princess has her sword raised, ready to strike, and her arm raised as a shield. She has burst right through those black clouds into murky light. She wants only clarity and destroys that which shouldn't have remained. She wants to make sure that all those thoughts are gone, so she can live fully in the new. She doesn't wish to be repressed. She wishes to know herself and her actions and thoughts.
---
My mind has been racing with contemplation. I'm not staying true to my original ideals because of one small blip. It hasn't stayed true to me. I'm ready to abandon ship and try my fate in the black ocean. This card tells me that I need to clear all that out and not let it influence my future decisions. Keep doing what I'm doing.

Daily Reading

The Stars:

A fey smiles with complete trust in what she wants. She stands on a balcony, tilting her head upward. She looks like she was made from stars into human form and this is her way of communication. She becomes the creator of the illuminated. The fey seems so high up on the balcony; she is free.
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The stars will always be there for guidance, even if we, as a race, forget what they've been left here for. They offer hope and innocence, beauty and grace. Future. They show us where we are going, not why.

Today I will see the beauty in the things I create and the things created. I'll be fascinated and have to stop to observe its splendor. It's a lot like falling in love. And, you know what? It's already happening.

Daily Reading

Nine of Swords:

Instead of the proverbial elephant, there is a demon. A man has nightmares and anxiety over his demons.
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I've been worried about my cat Dagda. I thought he could be sick yesterday, but he seems fine today. I just get very upset if I think one of my pets is sick, since one died a few years ago from a sickness we wouldn't cure. My stomach gets really nauseous and I can't eat. I think he's going to die and I get very sick with worry. He's family.

Daily Reading: Yesterday

Queen of Rods:

A woman sits on her throne with her staff. I think it is budding just in time for spring. She has a cat near her for friendship. She is a generous and sincere person. There is a lion armrest for her strength.
---
This cards has to do with my mom. I played her role better than her yesterday (if people can be put into roles) because she had things she had to do and was upset and stressed out. I went out and got food instead for her. She wanted the food to come to her instead of from her. She's the generous, caring one, like the woman from the card, but yesterday I had to be that for her.

3 Card Spread: Yesterday

On the way to my sister's house I was so nervous that I did this spread yesterday.

Q: What will tonight be like?

A: Tales, House, Love

Tales: All the gossip we heard before seeing my family. We've heard a lot of true and untrue bad stuff that affects us horribly.

House: We were on our way to the house. We had such trouble deciding which house to use. I had been cleaning for a while, not knowing which house.

Love: Yes, in the end all that mattered was that we are family. Family makes mistakes. But there's more to people than their mistakes. There's love.

Daily Reading: Yesterday

Nine of Swords:

Anxiety and nightmarish thoughts. This is a powerful card. It's about sorrow and sacrifice.
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Yesterday I was so sick with worry and anxiety. I was going to see family I haven't seen in years. I was freaking out and sacrificing my comfort and happiness to see them again. I was cleaning the house like a freak. But, like the mermaid in this card, it led me to a better place and I wouldn't have changed that or what happened.

Daily Reading

Justice:

She looks to be sitting on her own royal mountain, so high that she's above the clouds. She holds the sword of thoughts and intellect with a calm reserve. She balances the scales perfectly even with the other hand, her right hand. To me the sword is perfect in the left. The left side of the brain is for order and intellect. Right is imagination, intuition, and creativity. Clouds rush past her, even higher. She may be above humanity, but there is something above even her.
---
Everything today is seen in black or white, right or wrong. I strive for truth and integrity in others and in myself. No more games. Don't try to coddle me with half-truths and lies. Give me fairness and balance, even if it comes with an equal price, so I can go on with today and live it to the fullest. Don't waste my time, please.

3 Card Spread

I've been wanting to buy a lot of decks in the past few months and I can finally buy some on the 21st. So, I've been dividing the decks up into categories to figure out how much each means to me. But, I have a spending limit that I'm opposed to. I can only buy some, not all. But I want them all!

Q: Should I buy the tarot and oracle decks I want?


A: Wealth, Longing, Love


Wealth: Only if I have the money in the first place.


Longing: I'll just have to admire them and long for them from afar.


Love: I'm in love with these decks. I want them very badly!

Daily Reading

The Magician:

A woman holds energy or light in her hands. There is energy rising up around her. She sees all the choices mapped out and she gives others that choice.
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I guess this means that there are so many choices in this world, so many routes or paths you could walk on. Sometimes it's your choice, sometimes shit happens and it's not.

I feel really horrible and sick today. I don't know what this card has to do with me. Maybe I messed up with it, especially since I don't like this deck because of the unillustrated pips. I just don't get any feelings or energy off it.

3 Card Spread

Q: What might happen with J?

A: Lover, Trouble, Jealousy


1. Lover: Pretty obvious. Maybe we could become more than friends. But the man is waiting for his date at 1:40 in the morning. It's a secret meeting. Maybe I don't want people to know because I'm ashamed. Cruel, I know. He's got flowers, maybe first meeting? Seems like a nice guy. He's dressed up, so impressions count. The question is, will she show?


2. Trouble: A black cat with an alley leading off all narrow with one lamppost. There's a sewer right there. Bad times or mischievous nights? Bad but good, or bad and more bad?


3. Jealousy: The man from the Lover card has caught his partner in bed with someone, not him. How convenient that he's found a knife. He overheard them, I guess. So, I'm thinking that the BF or husband doesn't trust his partner. He's possessive and prone to jealousy. Really doesn't look too nice. Maybe J is that type. Maybe he's trouble and I know he wants to be what's shown in the Lover card.

Daily Reading

8 of Disks:

A group stands beside a tree in bloom. The tree is illuminated and gorgeous with gold roots reaching deep into the ground. Everything unfolds at the proper time.
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This card is telling me that today I need to do absolutely nothing but be still. I can't worry about anything. I can't over-indulge. I just need to pay special attention to myself. Sounds like something Dr. Phil would advise. But it's kinda true. I feel peaceful.

Daily Reading

4 of Pentacles:

A faery gathers for the harvest. She wants to make sure she's got enough saved up. It's her mad money. She has worked all summer and is now reaping the benefits. She is proud of herself for making it this far, just in time for winter.
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I've done the hard work and I'm grateful for the rewards. I need to think about how far I've come instead of how much I have left to go. I need to remember that and store those feelings so that I don't ever forget my hard work. No one is better than anyone. I need to not judge myself so harshly.

3 Card Spread

Q: What will my weekend be like from Friday-Monday?

A: Thoughts, Misery, Temptation

Do I really need to explain what this means? The plan was to go to a bar or club with 'friends', then camping, then maybe the rodeo. Either these are my insecure thoughts or it's a possible result of my insecure thoughts based on the path I'm on. Shit.

SONG OF THE WEEK

Air
Run

Daily Reading

2 of Coins:

A man holds up two coins while walking on a restless sea. A glowing sphere lays in front of him. It's his true desire. He's juggling too much.
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I'm juggling too much in my life. I've got exercise, tarot, new feelings that I need to sort out and am totally avoiding, free time stuff, and work stuff. I'm juggling all these things around my true desire: losing weight. That's where my focus is. I'm working hard to be where I want to be. I'm training to be able to run a 5k. I don't know when I'll actually run one, as I haven't even bothered to look into when there even is one. But my main goal is to be able to run for 30 minutes straight. The next goal will be 40 minutes and so on.

I can only be honest with myself. This card says that I'm using extra energy I need to juggle these things. But this card is telling me not to stop. Sometimes you need a challenge to see how strong you are. Sometimes it's worth it in the end.

Daily Reading

The Fool:

The fool's on a new adventure. He's excited and doesn't look where he's going. His dog is there to guide him, making sure he doesn't walk off the cliff, but the fool is lost in the moment. His feelings overwhelm him.
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I'm starting something new and I'm afraid. It's hard letting go and trying something for the first time in a while. I'm afraid it'll get thrown back into my face and I'll be bruised. I'm afraid how to act because I haven't acted this way in a while. I'm afraid to walk off that cliff and have no one catch me. I do feel the doubt, excitement, and anxiety. It's part of the reason why I don't want to take the risk. But I've already taken it. We will see how far I get and if I land on my ass.

9 Card Birthday Spread!

1. Where I am now:

The Hanged Man:

Letting go. Transcendence. Detachment from selfish considerations. Seeing things a new way. This card is about letting go to gain new spiritual awareness. You may look foolish, but you don't care because it makes sense. The book says, "Sometimes we have to submit to some stress in order to allow ourselves to undergo a mental transformation."


2. Where I would like to be on my next birthday:

9 of Swords:

There are always options. I need to look at my problems in a calm way instead of being depressed and freaking out. There are always options. There's always a way out.


3. What empowers me:

The Moon:

This card is about psychic dreams and abilities. Enchantment and spells. Visions. There is a madness in the moon, where reality blurs into delusions and dreams. But sometimes that makes sense. Sometimes things only make sense this way. The world makes sense sometimes in the supernatural. It's the lunatic side, and I'm drawn deeply to it.


4. What I need to create to bring myself closer to my goals:

2 of Swords:

I need to balance the way I guard myself. When I have a goal, I keep disappointment away. I put my defenses up. It can be hard to maintain this defense, but it keeps me sane. It's true that after a while this defense fails and I'm vulnerable.


5. My current material state:

8 of Wands:

Things are finally coming together. I think it's a beginning, not an end.


6. My current emotional state:

The Hierophant:

I need to be open. Lately I've been suppressing my emotions. I haven't shown them or expressed them because I forget to. But I have learned that that can be bad because it feels like I'm neglecting other people. I'm not acting how I should.


7. My current spiritual state:

Ace of Swords:
New excitement and vigor for intellectual pursuits. Developing my learning and finding great mental energy. But make sure I'm not ignoring anything. This has to do with my study of religions.


8. What stands in opposition to my objectives:

8 of Cups:

I need to move on, but I don't want to. I can't help looking back. It's hard to let go. But if I do, I'll be better for it.


9. What I need to do this year to make my dreams come true:

Ace of Cups:

I need to open myself up to creativity and emotions. I need to accept affection and let myself be happy. Use my artistic talents, and let people into my life. Take ideas from the outside. I need to see what happens and go with it. Follow it to wherever it takes me.


*This spread was created by Starfish from Aeclected Tarot.

Daily Reading

Narcissus: Vanity:

A woman stares at her own reflection, ignoring on-lookers. They want her attention, but she can't give it to them if she's fallen in love with her face. There's a Greek myth about Narcissus. In one version, everyone is in love with him, especially a girl named Echo. But Narcissus is so vain that he can't be bothered to notice her. So, Echo doesn't take care of herself and she becomes less than human. So she decides to get her revenge for what Narcissus has done to her. She calls on a goddess named Nemesis and Nemesis decides to make it so the next time Narcissus gazes upon his reflection, he cannot be pulled away. He ends up dying, and I think that he doesn't even mind.
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This once again has to do with my birthday. I'm not being vain; I could care less about my appearance. It's my fear of getting older and living with regrets. That's all I can really say about that. I pretty much thought getting this card was cruel, but it was probably the only one in the deck that could show my feelings in this way.

Q & A Reading

Q: What is my mood right now?

A: Temptations

Oh, this is good. It's funny because it's so accurate. I went to dinner with my family and there was, of course, a cute guy. He looked like he was looking at me the whole time, but he was probably looking at the person across from him, although I wasn't in the booth in front of him but way across. Whatever. This deck knew what was on my mind...

Daily Reading

The Sun:

Horus is the Sun god in Egyptian mythology. This card is about merging light and shadow, consciousness and unconsciousness. Gaining maturity and accepting the shadows of our personalities. This is self-realization.
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Yesterday I found a page I wrote on my feelings regarding my 21st birthday. I was shocked and stunned to see that my fears are the same, exactly a year minus a day later. I haven't changed at all. So ,somehow today my fears have been laid to rest. I am accepting. My problem was a regret of not doing any of the things I always wanted to do. I always tell myself that it's not too late. But I've been saying that since I was 18. It's just not true. Now that my plans are working I will get what I want and be able to do the things I've regretted not doing. I hope to succeed, and I'm not just saying that for some cold comfort.

Daily Reading

Queen of Pentacles:

She wears a castle as her crown. Her home is where her power lies.

This card is me, exactly. In the companion book it describes this queen as generous, warm, the person to tell your secrets to, a person who lets anyone in need into her house, magical, not a party person, likes quiet, shy, hard working, can be moody but can shake off these moods, focuses on others, good with animals and children, and, finally, intelligent.
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Today I feel like myself in the truest form. My mood has changed from happiness to sadness to happiness every few hours. I've felt the need to cuddle with my kitties. I've even done my daily job of scolding Luna for constantly begging for treats (even after I give her a few). I've worked hard, been kind even though I didn't want to be. This is me.

3 Card Spread

1. What will this deck teach me?

Journey:

I think this deck will take me on a spiritual or intellectual journey of the mind. The fact that it has a mile maker shows that this deck will be making me do a lot of walking. We're going on a journey together.


2. What does this deck require of me?

Gift:

This one I find hard to interpret because I don't know if it means I will give something up, like the deck, or receive the gift of knowledge due to working hard with this deck.


3. What will our relationship be?

Hope:

I really do feel hope for this deck. I see tons of potential. I'm already in love with it. It was love at first sight. When I look at these cards, I don't see anything negative. Just hope, humor, and happiness. And I'm hoping that will be our everlasting relationship.



*I got this spread from http://www.aeclectic.net/tarot/. Don't remember who made it. Sorry!

Daily Reading

The World:

Sheer joy. Reaching and completing goals. A conclusion. Feeling on top of the world between Earth and Heaven. A woman is in the between. Is she ascending to Heaven or descending to Earth?
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I'm always stuck in the past and wary of the future. I never want the future to come. In fact, I have a fear of it. I don't want any of it to happen because it means I will change, not just in appearance but also in personality. Will I become cold and callous or learn to accept things for how they are even though they don't seem to be how they ought to?

Today I'm happy for the future. I'm annoyed and apprehensive toward it, but I'm weeding out the negative. I'm making plans to be how I want to be, and that takes time, lots of time. Which means I need to willingly and happily go into the future. I need to embrace it and deal with the past. I'm sure that once that happens I'll be floating, just like the woman depicted.

Daily Reading

The Sun:

Today I have an optimism. It's kind of like that song; I'm heading for the sun. I have my goals and I won't let anything get in the way of them. I've figured out the pattern, just like the card says, and I've got plans. I have to trust that everything will work out because that's all I have. It was only yesterday that my trust was faltering, but today it is strengthened. I can either follow my plans as best as I can and come out with something, or I can quit and have nothing. But that's not happening today. I know I'm not superhuman; I can't follow my plans perfectly. But I can follow and try for 80%. In the end, I may not get the whole reward, but I'll receive most of it. All. Because. I. Tried. I didn't give in. I didn't give up.

Daily Reading

Five of Swords:

A man carries 3 swords, collecting all five, with an arrogant and smug look upon his face. Two men are hunched over in anger and shame. This 'winner' is rubbing his win in their faces, becoming the real loser in the personality contest. Sure, he won the battle and doesn't regard them as a threat, but he's not exactly a diamond in the ruff. The sky is purple and dark, the trees bare. It's the smug man's true self. He's trickery and very twisted. He'll cheat to get what he wants and make people think it's what they need.
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Is this card me for the day or someone else I'm familiar with? Maybe I feel tricked by something in my life. Actually, that makes perfect sense since I was thinking about that before I shuffled this deck. This thing, I fear, is tricking me. Trying to sabotage my plans, my schedule. I'll find out the truth tomorrow or the next day, but, until then, I'll continue to feel cheated.

Daily Reading

Wealth:

A woman stands in only fur, admiring the money around her. But not only is she surrounded, she is also standing in her riches. The woman is bathing in wealth. In fact, her feet are buried in gold coins. She's grounded by it. It's her focus. She has already bought that fur coat, so maybe today she is rich, but tomorrow poor.
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Today the glass is half full instead of running on empty. I didn't wake up in a great mood, but it changed to one. I feel happy with what I have. I've got a lot of stuff, but I'm nowhere near full of money like the woman portrayed in the card. So I think this card means that I feel wealthy with my life. I'm full and I don't need more because I love what I've got. At least that's the meaning as I perceive it for today, because I highly doubt I'll be coming into a fortune, any kind of fortune, today!

Daily Reading

King of Pentacles:

This card seems to be my dad. He's come over for dinner. He's a business man, stubborn and all about making money. That's one of his main interests. While here, he talked about getting things cheap from China: 42" TVs and a whole new kitchen. All for very cheap compared to the costs here. He likes deals, my dad. We also talk to him about buying the big stuff and little because he might be able to get a deal. Flooring, paint, computers, appliances, etc. He has lots of friends who can give him discounts. This card is my father. Exactly.

Daily Reading: Yesterday

The Sun:

Happiness, joy, success. Everything is going well and right. I'm young, healthy, and my brain is clear. Everything once hard works just right. It all clicks and everything falls into place because there are solutions to all the problems.
---
Yesterday we moved all the furniture in the living room. Everything seemed to work. When there was a problem, we managed to find all the right solutions and it was fixed. We worked all day and part of the night. Nothing was too heavy or too hard. We could do anything. And it worked out perfectly. Everything went great!

Daily Reading: May 1st

Ace of Disks:

New beginnings or possibilities involving new projects. The start of something new. It will be a success, from start to finish.
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I went to Ikea and bought some furniture. It was a new project as I had to construct them. I always love putting together the pieces. I never mind that. In the end, it was a success.

*My internet stopped working for a few days. That's why this and May 2's draw are late.