Thursday, April 30, 2009

Daily Reading

Misery:

This card resembles the tower in some ways. The lightning bolt and the house on fire spring to mind. The house is done with. It's time to get out before you're burned. Get out if you want to live.

The land is as bare as the dark tree. A raven is flying low, which could be a warning for dark times. A mirror is propped up and shattered; bad luck in every sense of the superstition.
---
This card describes my day completely. I've been up, then down all day. This has been pretty bad. I've been confused and depressed. Bad, bad day.

Earlier I tried to do my daily draw, but I didn't complete it. I drew Temperance from my Pictorial Key tarot deck. I should have finished it to fully understand the meaning of the card. I should have tried harder not to lose my balance, especially since I've had a feeling all week that this day would come. I should have...I could have....BUT, I'm only human.

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Daily Reading

Four of Wands:
A situation has become too boring. It's time to break out of my mudane life and try something new, a risk. It's time for fun.
---
Well, I was thinking about this day. I was thinking about the last four days. I've been painting a friend's room with her. We've got this routine we do everyday, going back and forth between each other's houses. I spend the day at her house and we sleep at mine. I feel really comfortable away. Home feels boring and constricted now. I'm having fun and doing things completely different, and that's a risk for me.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

SONG OF THE WEEK

The Flaming Lips
Do You Realize

Daily Reading

Page of Cups:

There are bars held up, but they look to be in the background now. A meek, hesitant bird sees his friends free and flying. The cage has an opening and can join them. And it's not about joining them but, rather, joining the freedom. Once in the blueness of freedom, insecurities can't reach.
---
I know exactly what this card is about--shaking off the imprisonment and getting out of the cage. The door is open, always open, it's me who believes it is closed and impossible to escape. Today I put my herb pots out into a patch of sunlight in my backyard/garden. The sun was nice and warm, and I listened to the trees rustle and the air whisper. It was freedom, and this card represents getting out of that dark place and joining in on the sunshine and the blue sky. Nothing worrisome can exist there. It's an escape and it's enjoyment. Stay there while it lasts. Because this sun can't burn.

Monday, April 27, 2009

Daily Reading

The Lovers:
This card used to mean the ability to choose, but now it's about living in peace with opposites.
---
Maybe this card isn't about relationships. Maybe it's about the conflict I feel between the material and spirituality. I need to join earth and sky. Or this card could be about fighting with my mom. Maybe we need to be different in order to be at peace.

Sunday, April 26, 2009

Daily Reading

Ace of Wands:

Creativity and production in something new. Maybe new ideas and creativity with something old.

Page of Cups: (This card kept popping up when I shuffled)

Even more creativity. Inspiration.
---
This reading is telling me that I need to focus on something I need lots of creativity and inspiration for. Probably working on one of my novels. Yesterday I felt like writing, but I ran out of time. Maybe today is the day. Everything seems to be aligned. I have new CDs and I'm feeling creative. I hope I don't waste time.

*Update: I interpreted this card wrong. I spent the day with my friend, the same one from the last Ace of Cups reading. We were inspired to pick out paint for her bedroom. We also tried out something very new (Woo'd).

Saturday, April 25, 2009

Daily Reading

Prince of Pentacles:

This card is about practicality. I think it applies to a situation, rather than a person.
---
Today I have to act practical and be stable with my weight loss. It's the answer to my behavior today. I've been feeling disappointment, forgetting how much I've lost. This card is a little reminder to keep on track and know that things are never easy. Good things come to those who are safe.

*Update: Well, I acted practical after all. I realized my complaints were unreasonable and this card helped a lot to see that. I reexamined things and I'm fine again.

Friday, April 24, 2009

Daily Reading

Justice: Lady of the Lake:

When I look at this card I see an offer or an exchange: 'I'll give you this, if you do that!' The Lady of the Lake has risen up to create balance. She offers emptiness and prosperity. Arthur, no doubt, wants the sword, but at what price?
---
I'm still struggling with balancing things in my life. I'm neglecting some and obsessing over others. I need to find my balance so I don't end up with nothing to show for the time passed. I'm still thinking about my German study and my Craft study. I'm trying to make time but it isn't working. I need to stop wasting days. I DO have time, I just choose not to take it. I guess I'm a little like Arthur. I really want to learn, but I don't want to put the effort in. Or maybe I'm wrong about him. Maybe he wants it more than I do. I want it done already. Yesterday, if that works for you. It's hard to juggle. One slip and everything falls.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Daily Reading

Page of Cups:

Pages can mean a child-like innocence. Cups are water, therefore emotions. In the card a young girl is having fun with a fish. I think she's got on a sailor's outfit styled as a dress. The fish is from the water, so it is an emotional aspect.
---
Today I might lose sight of reality. I may want to daydream or stay in a dream state. I might be full of emotion. Well, today I might be seeing a friend and she always makes me feel like I'm a kid and dreaming. With her, I always feel the intense parts of the spectrum of emotions. If that makes sense.

Q & A Reading

Q: Where is the missing library book?

A: Death: The book is lost or gone. Move on now. Everything has an end.

Q: Will it be found?

A: The Oak Man: Seek wisdom from elders. Have strength and do not make any hasty decisions. Go look for it yourself. Basically, go ask the library.

Daily Reading: Yesterday

Tobaira of the Waters:

A faery is holding water in her cupped hands, letting the serene emotions transform her.
---
Yesterday my friend came to visit and this card shows that I had a choice. As soon as my exercise schedule was threatened for the day, I wanted very much to complete it. I experienced a sudden drive to hurry and get it squeezed in. I knew I wouldn't get it all done, so I compromised. I knew doing part of it was better than none. And today I completely feel like I made the right decision. I could have not done it and regretted it today. It would have made me frustrated. But I'm feeling calm about it. I don't have as much extra to do today because it's an easier day. I never really thought of exercise as a need before. But I do need it to maintain my good health and calm emotions.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

SONGS OF THE DAY

AC/DC
Big Jack
Silversun Pickups
Panic Switch
Lil' Wayne Ft. Kai
Prom Queen (Remix)
Seether
Careless Whisper
The Flying Lizards
Money (That's What I Want)

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Daily Reading

Wheel of Fortune:

round & round it goes.

will it stop?
no one knows...

A woman watches over the wheel. It's entertaining to her. She's amused. She's the one who spins it. She holds strings that are attached to her clothing. Maybe she's connected to fate, or maybe she's playing puppet master. This is a show for her, a game. A dance. She knows how fast fate can change things. Wind blows through her hair. Who knows if it'll stop or start again.
---
I think today I will come out of my rut. Already I've been doing things differently, doing the things I usually want done at night. But I never do them because I get tired and it ends up to be 1 am. So I'm doing tarot readings in the sunshine to explore my decks instead of at an uninspiring time. But back to the card at hand; it's part two of yesterday's draw. I'm taking it one step further. Today I'm going to get these things done early.

Monday, April 20, 2009

Daily Reading

Five of Cups:

A girl is standing in her garden-turned-cemetery, illuminated. It's a dark time, for in her hand she clutches at her loss, not seeing what's left of her ivy. She doesn't care how much she has left, only what she doesn't have. This girl is in mourning and it makes me wonder how long she's posed as a statue. The place around her has been severely neglected. Her hair is horribly unkept. She needs to wake up and look at what's become of her situation.
---
This card makes me question a few aspects of my life. There are many things I've neglected. I have this annoying habit of focusing on one thing at a time, devoting all my time to it. Right now, amazingly enough, I've been doing tarot and lots of exercise. Read it--two things at once! Each day I know I've missed another hour of German and Craft study. I regret this everyday. I'm so behind in the meditation chapter of my course. I have until the end of April, or else I'll be cutting time out of next month's chapter of the book. I think that there isn't enough time, so I made a schedule over a month ago that is very reasonable. Wanna know how long I stuck to it? Maybe three weeks, tops. I lost my German stuff, so I didn't do it. Found it and didn't do it. Didn't feel like working on one of my books (just did tons of pages over two weeks), didn't do it. I'm only making myself feel like a failure. So today I will make time. I don't want to end up depressed. I've had enough experience being in that state.

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Daily Reading

Flax:

A woman/flower appears to be creating flax. She's got lots of green: growth? There's gold buds on her dress: joy in what she does? Purple is usually perceived as royalty.
---
This card is a nice, kind warning that I need to realize that just because I ordered some new decks, that doesn't mean the instant gratification will be satisfying in the long run. It's the learning and dedication that I need to explore. Playtime is over; hard work is the right path. I think this card is talking about developing my skills with tarot. The joy of receiving my decks in the mail will feel like nothing in comparison to knowing how to use them well. I need to be happy with what I have and put my older decks to good use before thinking about more decks. All I've been doing lately is thinking about the decks on my wishlist and when I can buy them (unfortunately, not for a LONG time). When I finally decided to officially start using tarot, I was very interested in various decks. I ended up with 33. I've always felt a strong desire to truly know a deck. To do a reading and recognize the cards as extentions of myself. To really feel the card as if it's alive. Right now I just need to focus on learning more about the ones I have. Then that day will come and the joy will be worth the hard work.

SONG OF THE WEEK

Led Zeppelin
Babe I'm Gonna Leave You

Saturday, April 18, 2009

Daily Reading

Ten of Cups:

Two people are conversing together in a happy manner, surrounded by gold chalices. Everything around them holds a calm and illuminated atmosphere. Their children symbolize innocent youth and excitement.
---
This card shows how I've been feeling all day. I've been so excited for the future of a project I'm pursuing. I can't stop talking about how great it's been going. I'm talking to my mom about it constantly, which brings us a little more closer. I'm so excited!

Friday, April 17, 2009

Daily Reading

The Tower (reversed):

This card looks like pure, chaotic discord and destruction. Everything has been broken apart, torn apart, and flung around. It reminds me of a tornado blowing everything in its fearful path. It's very hard to piece this puzzle back together because it's like trying to pour water back into a glass and have it be exactly how it was. Nothing can remain the same.

Book Meaning:

There will be a dramatic change that can't be stopped. This change, no matter how negative it seems, has a purpose. You must explore the new options you have been given.
---
Today there was a brief storm outside. The sky cracked open for rain and hail. The clouds were dark blue. It was so rough that the plants in my backyard ended up bent and shaken. It was an incredible change as opposed to the sunny week we've had. Nature experienced a change. It looked like a bad one, but in the long run it'll be good for it. The new plants will learn to survive. Right now the sun has come out again, bright and full.

I think this card has something to do with my dream last night. Every since I had it, I've felt this horrible foreboding in my stomach. My dad died of a heart attack in my dream. I was really upset and had a breakdown because the police kept confiscating my clothing (maybe because they thought he was murdered instead). I was upset because of all the changes I had to go through. I remember yelling at my mom, asking her why this was had to happen.

I experienced all the same feelings from when my cat died. A random thought would pop into my head at the oddest times: 'Jessie's dead!' As soon as those powerful words entered my head, I would break down and cry, as if I was experiencing the whole death all over again. In my dream, I had the same thought but it was about my dad. The pain I felt was so real that I was uncontrollably breaking down. I'm almost worried now that something bad will happen to him, because once in a while I have precognitive dreams. I had one about my cat the day she died.

I highly doubt that my dad is going to die anytime soon. He doesn't have a heart problem or other condition. One thing that stayed with me throughout the dream was this regret of not being able to spend time with him again. I see my dad maybe 4 times a month if I'm lucky. So, maybe I'm finally feeling unrest towards that. I won't be too surprised if something comes along later today, in general, that shakes up my little moon.