Friday, April 17, 2009

Daily Reading

The Tower (reversed):

This card looks like pure, chaotic discord and destruction. Everything has been broken apart, torn apart, and flung around. It reminds me of a tornado blowing everything in its fearful path. It's very hard to piece this puzzle back together because it's like trying to pour water back into a glass and have it be exactly how it was. Nothing can remain the same.

Book Meaning:

There will be a dramatic change that can't be stopped. This change, no matter how negative it seems, has a purpose. You must explore the new options you have been given.
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Today there was a brief storm outside. The sky cracked open for rain and hail. The clouds were dark blue. It was so rough that the plants in my backyard ended up bent and shaken. It was an incredible change as opposed to the sunny week we've had. Nature experienced a change. It looked like a bad one, but in the long run it'll be good for it. The new plants will learn to survive. Right now the sun has come out again, bright and full.

I think this card has something to do with my dream last night. Every since I had it, I've felt this horrible foreboding in my stomach. My dad died of a heart attack in my dream. I was really upset and had a breakdown because the police kept confiscating my clothing (maybe because they thought he was murdered instead). I was upset because of all the changes I had to go through. I remember yelling at my mom, asking her why this was had to happen.

I experienced all the same feelings from when my cat died. A random thought would pop into my head at the oddest times: 'Jessie's dead!' As soon as those powerful words entered my head, I would break down and cry, as if I was experiencing the whole death all over again. In my dream, I had the same thought but it was about my dad. The pain I felt was so real that I was uncontrollably breaking down. I'm almost worried now that something bad will happen to him, because once in a while I have precognitive dreams. I had one about my cat the day she died.

I highly doubt that my dad is going to die anytime soon. He doesn't have a heart problem or other condition. One thing that stayed with me throughout the dream was this regret of not being able to spend time with him again. I see my dad maybe 4 times a month if I'm lucky. So, maybe I'm finally feeling unrest towards that. I won't be too surprised if something comes along later today, in general, that shakes up my little moon.

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